๐ŸŽ— It wasn’t my fault. CCAM #ablogaday day19

It is absolutely devastating to hear that your child has cancer and you will have many different feelings and emotions.

When i was told Riley had cancer, I felt like the world was crashing down around me, i felt numb, I felt like everybody knew what I had just been told. I was shocked, scared, sad, angry, I just didn’t want to believe it and i felt so guilty! I think these are normal reactions. I’ve had conversations with nurses and doctors before about blaming myself and I have to remember its not my fault that Riley got cancer, i didn’t do anything and there was nothing I could do!

Guilt is rife among cancer parents, Was it something I did?

Could I have prevented this?

I know there was nothing I could have done because we don’t know why children get cancer. Whatever causes cancer in children is not the same as what causes cancer in adults. I know its important to know that itโ€™s nothing I did.

Researchers have looked at every possible cause โ€“ from what mummy ate during pregnancy to the parentsโ€™ jobs, to where they live. They canโ€™t come up with a reason why some children get cancer, and others do not.

I guess we pulled the out the short straw.

I think some people think cancer can spread like the flu! Like if their children are near your child they will catch cancer. Its not like that at all. I honestly felt like when Riley was diagnosed that everybody was trying to keep their children away from him because they honestly thought they would catch it!

I used to look at children who had gorgeous hair running around the park or just over at the shop and I used to think what if they have cancer? why wasn’t it you? why did it have to be my child?

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