CCAM

🎗What being a “Cancer Mum” really means to me. CCAM #ablogaday day26

Honestly,

you wont take anything for granted anymore. you actually know the true meaning of anything can happen at anytime! it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how happy you are. it doesn’t matter how much stress you have already been though in life!

I often wonder if there was something I could have done even when I know there was nothing I could do. I have always said how much I love Riley and honestly I would die for him. I would literally take his cancer out of him into my own body if I could!

I don’t really care about how well he’s doing at school, I’m just glad he’s able to go to school. Some children don’t!

I used to listen to songs and sometimes honestly, I would wonder if I would have to play this at his funeral. Yes, I did think about burying my child! Because honestly, when I was told Riley’s chance of survival was only a small 40% to me it wasn’t a lot! Your mind wonders off. You think, you really over think…

I thought about myself dying, I know I wouldn’t be able to go on if Riley didn’t make it though his cancer. Riley is my only child (for now!) he’s my world, I couldn’t live without him.

Every leg ache, rash, little bruise, headache he has, it makes me feel sick inside. Always thinking the worse could happen again.

I used to want to scream at people! They don’t know how lucky they are! They don’t know what they have got!

I had to come to terms with what could cure him could also kill him and cause future cancers. It destroyed his beautiful body.

A version of my died the day Riley was diagnosed and a new version came alive. I am stronger then ever.

You meet children, you fall in love with them, each their own little superhero. Their parents become your closet friends.

I want to make changes and make a difference but honestly, I don’t even know where to start. I jus hope my voice can one day make that difference!

This is how I feel and I know other oncology parents feel.

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