Daily Life

Been a hard few weeks.

I’ve had probably the worst two weeks I’ve had in a while. I’ve cried so many tears. It’s been so difficult for me but I’ve got past it and right now I’m honestly at the point where I don’t care anymore but who knows what I’m like tomorrow or the day after or next week….

I’ve decided the time has come that me and Riley need to adventure away from my parents house and find a place for us to finally call our home. I don’t know how I can say I’ve decided when tbh it feels like I’m been pushed out. See my parents think it’s for the best because ‘we will get along better’… I just think it’s because they don’t want me around anymore tbh, which I know probably isn’t true but it’s how I honestly have felt since they said about getting me own place. Whatever to that too. I am 24 next month so it is probably about time I did move out. Just hard when the only place you’ve known as home won’t be anymore.

Last Sunday I ended up getting into an arguments with my parents. Things were said, some very upsetting things. Which I still feel upset about it all but we’ve all apologised and ‘sorted it’. It’s just difficult for me to talk about a lot of things in the family to people because I find it hard for people to understand where I’m coming from. It’s just hard for me to know that I am wanted in the family. Sometimes I feel like the disappointment, when I think back to school and collage I probably am that. I didn’t do well at school. I just pay for it now I guess. It was only last year I found out I was dyslexic and then everything made sense, just found out at the wrong time.

On the other hand I’ve had my fair arguments with somebody who I thought was my best friend. I’ve been pushed too the side. Had about everything thrown in my face. As I keep saying to myself I don’t need the negativity in my life. I don’t need the drama or the upset. I’m sick of standing on egg shells, been paranoid and nervous about them. I’m passed it and no longer care. Friends come and go…

Even though these past two weeks have been difficult I’ve made it. I’ve felt the looniest I have felt in a while. I’ve felt so low. I didn’t brush my hair for 3 days, I didn’t shower for 5. I wasn’t walking Coco. I was dropping Riley off at school and coming home and getting back into bed. Something I haven’t done in months…

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Even though I have spent two weeks crying, been upset, been anxious and stressed I don’t think I would have got through it without somebody special in my life. Somebody who’s kept me on my feet. Kept me talking. Kept my smiling and been there for me every time I have needed it. He has been my absolute rock! It’s nice to know somebody’s got my back and thinks about me. It’s been hard for me so I don’t know what it’s been like for them. I know I can be a pain in the bum most times, probably all the time. It’s just nice to know that somebody actually does care about me. Is there for me when I do need it.

I get Riley’s scan results on Monday too. He had his 6month check up scan on Friday the 13th. What an awful day I know! I keep telling myself everything will be fine but last week he was upset because his belly was hurting him and he wasn’t eating that much. He has these little bruises under his eyes which will always be there because of the cancer growing there when he was diagnosed so when he gets pale they get darker so that always makes me on edge! Just got to think about the best results and try and forget about the worst but the worst are always going to be there before the best because they always always take over. Like now, it’s what 12.37am and even writing that is making me think about them. It’s torture. The negative thoughts taking the positives!

I know this is totally different to what I’m used to writing about. I’m sorry.

Sophie. xx

Cancer Life

2Years in remission!! 🎗

Today is a very special day for my boy…

2 years he’s now been in remission. no evidence of disease… cancer free!!!!

my boy is smashing it everyday!

Could not be any more proud of him.

We still have to battle with the side effects most days but Riley does everything was a smile on his face. Everyday is a day worth celebrating for Riley. He had the hardest battle of his life to face at just 21months the old when he was diagnosed but he’s now 5 years old and doing absolutely amazing! 💕

#cancerversary

Daily Life

Riley turns 5!

Riley’s birthday.

On Saturday (24th February) Riley had his first proper party at his favourite play area! By proper party I mean more then 1 friend like we’ve done before they’re was 16 friends that came. He had all his friends from school. 16 children and he absolutely loved it. Playing with all his friends and they had the whole place to themselves. Riley absolutely loved all the attention, Who doesn’t on their birthday?

Really did make me smile seeing him run around with all his friends having fun, laughing and smiling! He had the biggest smile on his face throughout it all. Makes me so proud to be his mummy.

Riley has a really lovely bunch of friends. Really chatty little children. They all get along with each other so well and it was so nice to see them all encouraging each other to go down the different slides. I honestly feel like these children have definitely really brought Riley’s self esteem right up. They’ve encouraged him to do so much more then when he first started reception… so so so proud of him!

27|February – Birthday!!!

Riley woke up to snow! Yes snow!

What more could he wish for? Snow on your birthday I think that’s every kids dream. Unfortunately he did have to go to school but when I picked him up he said he did have a lovely day!

He managed to open all his presents before he had to go to school but he didn’t get a chance to get any of them out and have a play before we had to set off for school! He wasn’t too interested in his cards though but I guess kids never are.

I just can’t believe I have a 5 year old. I mean when Riley finished all his cancer treatments it literally felt like I was starting with a new born baby. But he had just turned 3 and now he’s 5! I just can’t believe it! Really couldn’t be more proud of him!! Absolutely love him all this world and so much more.

Happy Birthday to my darling Riley. I love you so very much. x x x x x x

Uncategorized

Liebster Award.

I’m feeling really proud of my blog atm.

All the wonderful likes and comments in getting on my latest post https://justsophandriley.blog/2018/01/23/giving-cancer-the-finger/

salgallaher nominationed me for a Liebster Award and I’m so pleased as I only started this blog a few weeks ago. Thank you so much Sal, it really does mean alot. So pleased I’ve started off so well and hope it continues like this…

So what exactly is this award? Tbh I had no idea, I had to google it! I think it’s a great idea to promote each other and thank one another for sharing their blogs. So the award is when bloggers nominate other bloggers for showing respect to their works and their dedication. It’s an appreciation and recognition for all the fellow bloggers out there in the blogosphere!

Rules for accepting it?

Write about it on your blog and thank the person who nominated you.

Display the award on your blog.

Nominate 5 – 10 blogs which you feel deserve the award.

Let the nominees know that you nominated them.

Don’t forget to create 10 questions for them to answer. Notify your nominees and provide a link to your post so that they’ll know what to do. Once you’re done, come back here and comment with the link to your post so I can check out your answers.

Below are my 10 questions from Sal and my answers.

1. If you could have a superpower what would it be and why? Invisibility – would love to listen in on peoples conversations and know they’re little secrets.

2. What is your favourite movie? I have always loved anything with Adam Sandler in it but tbh my favourite film is The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. The story is so interesting and when I watched it for the first time I had never seen anything like it before. So it’s always one that has stuck with me. Something different.

3. When and why did you start blogging? I actually created my blog back in 2016 and shared Riley’s cancer treatment on it but deleted it and started this one again at the beginning of the year. I wanted to raise awareness for childhood cancer and the struggles the treatment brings afterwards and so far I think I’ve done a good job. We are rebuilding our lives.

4. Paperbook or Kindle? Paperbook!

5. Do you now live in the country you were born in? Yes I still do. I’ve always wanted to move away from Leeds but I don’t think I ever will. Leeds is where I was born, where I live. The only other place I would probably move too would be Skegness or somewhere really quiet away from people.

6. If money was no object what would you do this weekend? Take riley to legoland and buy all the Lego he wanted! He’s been wanting to go for a few years now so that would definitely be the thing we would do.

7. Who do you respect and look up to? Even though I might not always show it I respect my mum. She’s always tried her best for me and my sister. Even when she’s tired she’s still doing things for other people making sure we have what we need. I also look up to every single person that helped Riley during his cancer treatment they deserve so much respect!

8. Do you listen to music when youwrite, if yes what is your preference? Sometimes I do, but sometimes I just have the telly on for background noise. If I do I love listening too maroon5.

9. What really makes your heart sing? Riley every single day. He makes me so proud. The smile he puts on his face after everything he’s been through it makes me so proud!! He doesn’t let anything defeat him! He brings me so much happiness and joy.

10. What is your main goal for this year? Forget cancer and enjoy our lives. Make more memories. Smile and laugh more!

Now I would like to nominate the following awesome people…

My 10 questions to the Nominees are:

1. What is your life goal?
2. Where do you want to be in 5 years time?
3. Favorite food?
4. Programme you’ve seen every single episode of?
5. What gives you inspiration?
6. 3 things you hate?
7. How do you spend your Sunday’s?
8. What made you create your blog?
9. What brings you the most happiness?
10. What is your main goal for this year?

Once again thank you Sal. Can’t wait to see people’s posts!

Daily Life

Giving Cancer The Finger.

 

This year we are giving cancer the middle finger!

2018 isn’t going to be about cancer or neuroblastoma. its not going to get the attention it doesn’t deserve.

2018 is time for Riley to learn lots of new things and to have more adventures. Everyday he wakes up with a smile on his face showing cancer it didn’t win this battle and its not about to destroy his day.

Riley knows he had cancer but he doesn’t let that beat him so why should we let cancer be so focused on in 2018? We shouldn’t! 

We know the side effects from his treatment will be there with us daily regarding his physical development & his ears but that is something we are dealing with now, sooner rather then later in the year. We’ve just got an appointment sorted out for ENT next week!

We’re going to make lots more memories. Try lots of new things. Adventure further and laugh so much more then we have done before.

2018 also marks 2 full years in remission which is obviously amazing!

We’ve focused our lives on cancer so much these past 3 years, with Riley having all his different treatments, tests & scans in between them & then waiting for the results. It gives you the worst anxiety you ever have to experience. Don’t get me wrong the anxiety is probably always going to be around tests & scans because you will never know what they’re going to show.

But! 2018 is going to be a good year. No more negativity, its time to laugh, smile and enjoy life. Life without cancer for a change.

So here’s to 2018. The year we give cancer the middle finger!

soph&riley xx