🎗 Your heart. CCAM #ablogaday day11

Just being told your child has cancer your entire heart breaks.

Having to kiss your child goodbye as they are wheeled into theatre your entire heart breaks.

Having to hold him down as they try to take blood for the 4th time your entire heart breaks.

Holding a vomit bowl whilst rubbing his back as he throws up after another bunch of poison pumped into him your entire heart breaks.

Noticing his hair on his pillow your entire heart breaks.

Hearing of another child going to play with the angels your entire heart breaks.

Having him look up at you while he enjoys his fave food your heart starts to heal.

Hearing him laugh and seeing him smile your heart starts to heal.

Seeing him run around at home your heart starts to heal.

Hearing him say “I love you mummy” your heart starts to heal.

Cuddling up on sofa watching his fave programme your heart starts to heal.

The consultant saying “good news, scans are all clear!” your heart starts to heal.

Childhood cancer is not rare.

Its never the exact same story for every child. Each child takes a different path, each child’s cancer story has a different ending.

No cancer is the easy one, every one has the same effects, your entire heart breaks, your heart heals.

For some it never does heal but for every parent their heart will never beat the same again…

🎗When did I become aware? CCAM #ablogaday day7

When did I become aware of childhood cancer?

Friday 28th November 2014.

I will never forget the look on the doctors face when he told me “your son has cancer” words no one ever wants to here. Whilst most people would have been in the shops getting their Black Friday Deals I was sat in a room with Riley on my knee been told the worst news.

There are still times, in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning when I still can’t quite believe that my son was diagnosed with cancer!

I was also told that the chance of survival was only 40% which doesn’t seem a lot at all.

A lot of people don’t even know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Unless Childhood Cancer effects your family, its may not be something you would be aware of! Awareness can help families that are facing Childhood Cancer feel less alone. Raising awareness this month especially will help other families that haven’t been effected by Childhood Cancer be more aware of the signs and the symptoms. I know it might be scary to think your child having Cancer but wouldn’t you want to be aware? Wouldn’t you want to know what to look out for? I wish I would have known the sign and symptoms and what to look out for. Most Gps aren’t trained on Childhood Cancer and that shows with how many parents have had to take their child to the GP before ending up in hospital getting told the most awful news.

Honestly, if your a parent or carer, educate yourself on knowing the signs and symptoms of Childhood Cancer.

🎗I didn’t think. CCAM #ablogaday #day2

Even when Riley wasn’t eating and sleeping a lot, i didn’t think cancer.

When I was taking Riley to the doctors for 3 weeks in a row, i didn’t think cancer.

When me and my mum took him to the emergency doctors, i didn’t think cancer.

When Rileys eye was swollen, i didn’t think cancer.

When I was sitting in the A&E with my mum and Riley waiting to see the doctor, i didn’t think cancer.

When Riley spent 3 days in the hospital on antibiotics and fluids, i didn’t think cancer.

When Riley had a eye test and got sent to the hospital for a CT scan, i didn’t think cancer.

When I was sitting in a room with Riley on my knee been told that they had found a lump on the CT scan, I didn’t think cancer.

When Riley had test after test after test, I didn’t think cancer.

Until it was…

When we were sat in a room meeting the oncologist team and nurses, I didn’t want it to be cancer.

When Riley was having an anaesthetic for the first time, I didn’t want it to be cancer.

When Riley was having a Hickman line placed into his chest, I didn’t want it to be cancer.

When we were admitted onto the children’s oncology ward, I didn’t want it to be cancer.

When you notice all the bald children on the ward and wonder why your child is there, I didn’t want it to be cancer.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Please educate yourself on the signs and symptoms of Childhood Cancer!