Inside No 59.

Last Tuesday, 14th May I got the keys to my house. A lot has been done in the past week and lots more money has been spent!

Carpets ordered and paid for which are getting fitted tomorrow!! So exciting!

Rileys new bed has been delivered just needs to be built once the carpets are down.

Got a beautiful corner sofa ordered which will be delivered in 5 weeks hopefully!

Since my side gate was kicked in by stupid kids having nothing better to do my mum and dad bought and fitted my new one today! I had somebody dump a load of rubbish in my back garden on Friday night which pissed me off!!! So had to deal with that which was an absolute joke.

Me and my mum spent one afternoon just cleaning the outside of the front and back doors.

I spent one morning cleaning all the windows which were black! Honestly looked like they had never been opened before. Was shocking tbh. And then cleaned the inside of the front and back doors.

The decorator has been there everyday since I got the keys turning what was a blank white canvas into a beautiful colourful home!

I ordered and paid for blinds for the full house which were fitted on Monday! Honestly the blinds made the house look so much more like a house if that makes sense.

Today I’ve cleared the horrible gravel from my pathway. The gravel leaded right up to the front door. I didn’t want Riley to fall on it when it rained either so thought it was best to have a nice little path we could walk on.

The back garden needs a proper gut clean aswell now. The window frames need cleaning!

When the time comes where I’ve got abit more money behind me because atm I’m bloody skint! 😭 I’ll get my bed but right now that’s not something I need as I am taking the bed I have at my mums with me.

Most importantly everything is coming together now nicely!

Move in day Saturday…

Riley turns 6! 🥳🎈

I honestly just can’t believe I now have a 6 year old! Where have these past 6 years gone?

Riley had the best birthday, he didn’t stop smiling and laughing. He had a lovely birthday party at his favourite play area on Saturday 23rd of February. He had a disco party as he absolutely loves dancing at the moment he doesn’t stop wiggling his bum and even twerks! He had the best time running around with all his friends, dancing and even playing games inside the play area. All the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves too. It’s always nice I think to see how the kids play when they’re not in school.

🎈🥳🎈🥳🎈🥳🎈🥳🎈🥳🎈🥳🎈

Where have the past 6 years gone? I have loved every single moment I have spent with Riley. He changed my life forever. My best friend, my angel and my very own superhero. 8lbs 2oz of gorgeousness!! What a strong beautiful funny and amazing little boy I have today.

Well Riley managed to open all his presents before he had to go to school! School on his birthday? He was so mad! He didn’t want to go at all but there wasn’t any tears thank goodness!!

I just can’t believe I have a 6 year old. I mean when Riley finished all his cancer treatments it literally felt like I was starting with a new born baby. But he had just turned 3 and now he’s 6! I just can’t believe it! Really couldn’t be more proud of him!! Absolutely love him all this world and so much more.

Happy Birthday to my darling Riley. I love you so very much. x x x x x x

🎄 Blogmas | Day 22 | 3 more days till Christmas. #blogmas

Can you believe it is only 3 more days until Christmas? I can’t!

I have so much wrapping to still do! I’ve not even wrapped half of Riley’s yet let alone my families. So think I will be definitely still wrapping Christmas Eve!!!

I won a photo shoot earlier this December so I picked to have a 3 generation photo shoot with me Riley and my mum. We had our hair and make up done too! Was so nice to have somebody else do my makeup for a change. Wish I would have done my own eyebrows though as the MUA artist only filled in my eyebrows but I prefer them to be popping!

We managed to get some lovely pictures though. Riley wanted to get them all but I didn’t want to be spending loadsssss!!

Have you finished wrapping yet? 🎁

Cancerversary🎗

🎗FOUR years ago today my heart was broken, i was told my baby had cancer… stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma.

as a family this was the worst day of our lives. we had all these people trying to tell us information about what was going to happen next & all i could think about was what riley was like only a few weeks before like a ‘normal’ child but the child that was sat on my knee now had cancer & he was so poorly.

riley had 15 months worth of treatment – 7 chemotherapy sessions, 4hours in surgery having his main tumour removed, high dose chemotherapy, stem cell transplant where he spent 9 long weeks in the same room after catching so many infections and also spending time in intensive care, 15 radiotherapy sessions, immunotherapy & antibodies treatment riley was put into remission & has been for over 2 years now.

we have met some of the most amazing people throughout this journey, riley has been cared for by the most amazing Oncology Team – his consultants, doctors, nurses and surgeons who will always have a massive place in my heart!🎗

it is the most amazing thing to see riley going to school now, making friends, laughing & smiling. he amazes me every single day and I couldn’t be any more proud of him!

Riley is and always will be our very own super hero🎗

🎗Scanxiety, it’s a thing.

Scanxiety, it’s a thing…

It doesn’t go away,

It comes and goes but it doesn’t go away.

It’s been 3 years, 10months so scan days are nothing new. Maybe this should be getting easier? Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn’t.. it hits me like a tone of bricks crashing down on me again and these are the moments when it’s hard to breathe sometimes.

You know it hits you out the blue, I could be driving to Morrison’s and remember it’s scan day next week, tears well up in my eyes until there’s too many and they drip down my cheeks then there I am sniffling and sobbing, a living breathing bundle of anxiety.

I know I should be trusting my gut because that’s telling me everything will be okay and Riley looks amazing but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have these moments where the worries and fears just come running in and it seems so much bigger then I can handle!

Here I am tonight, lying in bed wondering what the mri will say tomorrow! Don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight.

What if there’s a small tiny tumour?

What if there’s a different cancer?

What if, what if, what if?

Just when I think it’s all quiet and calm in my heart the worse case scenarios would start playing out in my head! The memory or when I was told Riley had cancer is there all the time. There is no off button.

For the past 3 years and 10 months all I’ve wanted to do is take this all away from Riley. But I can’t, all I can do is wait for the results.

So that’s what I have to do.

It’s scan day tomorrow.