First Day Back To School 2019 | January ✨

Riley went back to school yesterday!

I actually set my alarm early to get up and ready before waking Riley up so I was verrrrry organised this morning which is one of my new year resolutions!

I woke him up and told him it was time to go back to school and he burst into tears, saying he didn’t want to leave me. Actually made me abit upset tbh. He gets so used to been at home with me and coco when school breaks up for holidays.

Once we got to school and he saw his friends he was obviously fine.

He managed to have a good day and even did PE outside for a while.

As he was so good his Auntie Alice treated us to Pizza Hut for tea which is his favourite! Who’s favourite tea isn’t pizza!

With me doing slimming world I got a flat bread pizza with lots of salad and it was lovely! Counting my syns for the next two days with that. So I will see what the scales say to me on Friday…. wish me luck!

So its back to the school runs, back to making small talk with the mummies. Haha.

x x x x

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🎗What being a “Cancer Mum” really means to me. CCAM #ablogaday day26

Honestly,

you wont take anything for granted anymore. you actually know the true meaning of anything can happen at anytime! it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how happy you are. it doesn’t matter how much stress you have already been though in life!

I often wonder if there was something I could have done even when I know there was nothing I could do. I have always said how much I love Riley and honestly I would die for him. I would literally take his cancer out of him into my own body if I could!

I don’t really care about how well he’s doing at school, I’m just glad he’s able to go to school. Some children don’t!

I used to listen to songs and sometimes honestly, I would wonder if I would have to play this at his funeral. Yes, I did think about burying my child! Because honestly, when I was told Riley’s chance of survival was only a small 40% to me it wasn’t a lot! Your mind wonders off. You think, you really over think…

I thought about myself dying, I know I wouldn’t be able to go on if Riley didn’t make it though his cancer. Riley is my only child (for now!) he’s my world, I couldn’t live without him.

Every leg ache, rash, little bruise, headache he has, it makes me feel sick inside. Always thinking the worse could happen again.

I used to want to scream at people! They don’t know how lucky they are! They don’t know what they have got!

I had to come to terms with what could cure him could also kill him and cause future cancers. It destroyed his beautiful body.

A version of my died the day Riley was diagnosed and a new version came alive. I am stronger then ever.

You meet children, you fall in love with them, each their own little superhero. Their parents become your closet friends.

I want to make changes and make a difference but honestly, I don’t even know where to start. I jus hope my voice can one day make that difference!

This is how I feel and I know other oncology parents feel.

🎗Hello September. CCAM #ablogaday #day1

Today is the first of September. It’s also the first of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

Childhood Cancer is something I never thought I would truly know so much about.

On the 28th of November 2014 I got the most devastating news. My beautiful blue eyed boy had Neuroblastoma. Stage4. High risk. It was so difficult to see Riley getting pumped with chemotherapy, having operations and having the most aggressive treatment they could give a child!

Would you believe that people get told Childhood Cancer is rare? It isn’t. 4000 children are diagnosed with cancer every year in the UK. That’s 10 children everyday.

I’ll post the sign and the symptoms below so you are aware. Knowing the signs and the symptoms of childhood cancer doesn’t mean you are more likely to have a child get cancer. It just means you are informed!