Riley went back to school yesterday!
I actually set my alarm early to get up and ready before waking Riley up so I was verrrrry organised this morning which is one of my new year resolutions!
I woke him up and told him it was time to go back to school and he burst into tears, saying he didn’t want to leave me. Actually made me abit upset tbh. He gets so used to been at home with me and coco when school breaks up for holidays.
Once we got to school and he saw his friends he was obviously fine.
He managed to have a good day and even did PE outside for a while.
As he was so good his Auntie Alice treated us to Pizza Hut for tea which is his favourite! Who’s favourite tea isn’t pizza!
With me doing slimming world I got a flat bread pizza with lots of salad and it was lovely! Counting my syns for the next two days with that. So I will see what the scales say to me on Friday…. wish me luck!
So its back to the school runs, back to making small talk with the mummies. Haha.
x x x x
This New Year’s Eve I’m looking forwards to going into 2019 with a happy and healthy 5 year old son.
I can proudly say this year again Riley hasn’t had to have any cancer related treatment, he’s had to odd physio appointment but no treatment and that is amazing!
Riley has also reached 2 years in remission this year which is definitely something I am proud to tell people. He is definitely my own super hero.
Riley has taken everything all in his stride, school, pe, learning new things and his confidence has grown so much.My beautiful Riley, I hope in 2019 you reach 3 years in remission. I hope you continue to smile and laugh every day. I hope we make lots of wonderful memories together. I hope you have fun with your friends. I hope you help me to grow to be the best mummy I can be to you. I hope you continue to grow in confidence and achieve whatever goals you set yourself.
Whatever 2019 brings for us I will be there for you. I will protect you and love you. I will keep you safe and I promise you will always get your snuggle on a night.
My 5 year old son, my own little superhero, my everything.
You make me feel so lucky, you have made me so proud!
I will love you always.
Mummy x x x
🎗FOUR years ago today my heart was broken, i was told my baby had cancer… stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma.
as a family this was the worst day of our lives. we had all these people trying to tell us information about what was going to happen next & all i could think about was what riley was like only a few weeks before like a ‘normal’ child but the child that was sat on my knee now had cancer & he was so poorly.
riley had 15 months worth of treatment – 7 chemotherapy sessions, 4hours in surgery having his main tumour removed, high dose chemotherapy, stem cell transplant where he spent 9 long weeks in the same room after catching so many infections and also spending time in intensive care, 15 radiotherapy sessions, immunotherapy & antibodies treatment riley was put into remission & has been for over 2 years now.
we have met some of the most amazing people throughout this journey, riley has been cared for by the most amazing Oncology Team – his consultants, doctors, nurses and surgeons who will always have a massive place in my heart!🎗
it is the most amazing thing to see riley going to school now, making friends, laughing & smiling. he amazes me every single day and I couldn’t be any more proud of him!
Riley is and always will be our very own super hero🎗
Scanxiety, it’s a thing…
It doesn’t go away,
It comes and goes but it doesn’t go away.
It’s been 3 years, 10months so scan days are nothing new. Maybe this should be getting easier? Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn’t.. it hits me like a tone of bricks crashing down on me again and these are the moments when it’s hard to breathe sometimes.
You know it hits you out the blue, I could be driving to Morrison’s and remember it’s scan day next week, tears well up in my eyes until there’s too many and they drip down my cheeks then there I am sniffling and sobbing, a living breathing bundle of anxiety.
I know I should be trusting my gut because that’s telling me everything will be okay and Riley looks amazing but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have these moments where the worries and fears just come running in and it seems so much bigger then I can handle!
Here I am tonight, lying in bed wondering what the mri will say tomorrow! Don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight.
What if there’s a small tiny tumour?
What if there’s a different cancer?
What if, what if, what if?
Just when I think it’s all quiet and calm in my heart the worse case scenarios would start playing out in my head! The memory or when I was told Riley had cancer is there all the time. There is no off button.
For the past 3 years and 10 months all I’ve wanted to do is take this all away from Riley. But I can’t, all I can do is wait for the results.
So that’s what I have to do.
It’s scan day tomorrow.